


Quarantine Newsies:The Groupchat

by leon_kinda_sus



Series: Waddle’s Oneshots [4]
Category: Newsies - All Media Types
Genre: College AU, Jack is dumb, Modern AU, Multi, fem smalls and nb sniper, scratch that they’re all dumb, smalls is weird, text fic, this is just the newsies in quarantine
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-02
Updated: 2020-06-10
Packaged: 2021-03-01 03:01:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,193
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23448193
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/leon_kinda_sus/pseuds/leon_kinda_sus
Summary: this is just a sneak peek of my newsies modern series
Relationships: Albert DaSilva/Racetrack Higgins, Crutchie/Finch Cortez, David Jacobs/Jack Kelly, Smalls/Katherine Plumber Pulitzer
Series: Waddle’s Oneshots [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1668037
Comments: 2
Kudos: 30





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> santa gay-jack  
> mother-davey  
> smart lesbian-katherine  
> dumb lesbian-smalls  
> nyoom-race  
> albert the big red dumbfuck-albert  
> tiny tim-crutchie  
> birb-finch  
> small man-spot  
> 360 no scope-sniper

—————————————————  
nyoom added nine people to the conversation 

nyoom: welcome bröthers, sïsters, and Snïper

360 no scope: wow thanks

nyoom: what 

albert the big red dumbfuck: He isn’t wrong

360 no scope: why are we here

smart lesbian: Hello everyone

dumb lesbian: gay

dumb lesbian: i am

dumb lesbian: very

nyoom: it’s ok take ur time

dumb lesbian: world infected and quarantined, titty healthy and safe

santa gay: is this the “lesbians what is your wisdom” meme

smart lesbian: Yes

smart lesbian: also I agree

mother: Guys it’s two am

mother: I figured Race and Albert would be up but what is Kath doing?

smart lesbian: Wallowing in self pity

santa gay: same

albert the big red dumbfuck: big same

nyoom: aren’t we all

mother: No I’m cleaning my room

dumb lesbian: at two fucking am

mother: Yes

mother: My mom is coming home today and she’s gonna be home in an hour

dumb lesbian: grandmother

albert the big red dumbfuck: Yes

smart lesbian: Davey’s mom has just adopted all of you hasn’t she

dumb lesbian: nah she’s the cool aunt

dumb lesbian: medda adopted us

nyoom: some of us literally 

small man: please shut the fuck up i’m trying to sleep

albert the big red dumbfuck: fine uncle spotty

nyoom: lmao this family tree is complicated  
—————————————————  
12:00 pm the next day!

nyoom: guys smalls is bullying her rowlet plushie

nyoom: i’m gonna call the animal shelter this is abuse

mother: What did you do this time Smalls

dumb lesbian: I don’t have a soccer ball so I’m using Philip

santa gay: who is philip

dumb lesbian:  
(insert pic of a small round rowlet plush)

smart lesbian: He’s our adopted son

albert the big red dumbfuck: smalls you’re using your son as a soccer ball

dumb lesbian: don’t tell me how to parent

dumb lesbian: I remember Rockefeller you asshole

mother: Do I want to know who Rockefeller is?

nyoom: albert managed to kill his pet rock

santa gay: How the fuck

nyoom: he brought him on one of our dates and we were skipping stones at the lake

small man: oh shit i remember rockefeller

dumb lesbian: and albert threw him into the lake

dumb lesbian: we had a funeral that summer

mother: Why am I friends with you guys?

nyoom: bc you love us mother

360 no scope: Philip my nephew how’s it hanging

dumb lesbian: well he just fell off my bed and if that ain’t a fat mood idk what is

smart mood: Same

tiny tim: hello gays

birb: hey

santa gay: y’all are finally here

small man: great now we’re all here

santa gay: davey

santa gay: dave

santa gay: gay bitch

santa gay: babe

mother: What?

smart lesbian: lol

smart lesbian: smalls how is philip?

dumb lesbian: he misses his other mom

tiny tim: im tired

nyoom: who isnt

birb: Me

albert the big red dumbfuck: finch you’re never tired

santa gay: I made cookies

mother: awww

mother: wait

mother: YOU made them?

mother: be there in five

smart lesbian: Jack you ass we need this apartment

dumb lesbian: Antonio Motherfucking Higgins

dumb lesbian: WHERE THE FUCK IS PHILIP

nyoom: idk

dumb lesbian has gone offline.

nyoom: shitsticks

nyoom has gone offline

mother: Don’t worry Kath the apartment is safe

tiny tim: oh thank god

360 no scope: i think elmer is making a slime tutorial next room over

birb: ironic

tiny tim: haha glue

albert the big red dumbfuck: i hid philip behind the peanut butter so smalls would try and kill race

smart lesbian: Asshole he’s my son too

mother: Doesn’t Smalls dip her Doritos in peanut butter?

albert the big red dumbfuck: uh

albert the big red dumbfuck: brb


	2. Disaster Siblings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> remember when i wasnt gonna continue this? im back bitches

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> santa gay-jack  
> mother-davey  
> smart lesbian-katherine  
> dumb lesbian-smalls  
> nyoom-race  
> albert the big red dumbfuck-albert  
> tiny tim-crutchie  
> birb-finch  
> small man-spot  
> 360 no scope-sniper

santa gay: im screaming

dumb lesbian: why

santa gay: must i have a reason

dumb lesbian: ok valid

mother: You two need sleep. Also Jack please stop screaming the walls here are very thin

dumb lesbian: oh that reminds me

dumb lesbian changed santa gay’s name to father

father: smalls,,,,,,i’m your brother

dumb lesbian: i literally do not care

nyoom: oh wait we can change people’s names now

nyoom changed albert the big red dumbfuck’s name to rock murderer

nyoom: there

rock murderer: i hate you antonio

dumb lesbian: *protective sister mode activated*

father: *brother mode activated*

dumb lesbian: *father

mother:

mother: Do I even want to know

smart lesbian: No

smart lesbian: also all of you please go the hell to sleep before i beat your asses

dumb lesbian: that was hot

father: lmao thirsty

dumb lesbian: do you value your kneecaps jacky boy

father: im terrified 

smart lesbian: thank you smalls also shut up jack

father: :/

mother: Jack and Smalls you two had better make up 

father: but daaaaaaaaaave

dumb lesbian: but mooooooooooooooom

mother: Now.

dumb lesbian: holy shit okay davey’s scary sorry jack :/

father: sorry for being right 

mother: Jack Kelly.

father: ,,,,,,sorry smallsy 

dumb lesbian: apology accepted but literally never call me that ever again k?

father: as long as you stop calling me jacky cause that’s what davey calls me and its awkward

dumb lesbian: deal

nyoom: im being left out of the sibling bonding :/

dumb lesbian: i don’t hate you racer

father: youre one of my two favorite non female siblings 

nyoom: aw thanks

nyoom: wait

tiny tim: i’m the other favorite :)

father: well yeah ofc

smart lesbian: We love writer’s block hh

dumb lesbian: write abt me :)))))))

smart lesbian: actually that’s not the worst idea you’ve ever had 

rock murderer: I think that title goes to peanut butter and doritos

dumb lesbian: fuck you that was rockefeller’s favorite food

rock murderer: He was my rock lay off

dumb lesbian: HE WAS OUR ROCK ALBERT. OUR ROCK.

nyoom: he was your nephew

rock murderer: Would be a damn shame if something were to happen to Philip, Smalls...

dumb lesbian: you fucking wouldnt

rock murderer: Oh I so would

dumb lesbian: Not if you want to keep your internal organs inside your body instead of bleeding on the pavement! :)

father: oh god she used punctuation albert run

nyoom: HELL YEAH THATS MY SISTER. GO OFF QUEEN

rock murderer: I want a divorce

tiny tim: That’s illegal unless u wanna deal with us

father: yeah albert and you really don’t wanna deal with us trust me

smart lesbian: I could hear Jack’s knuckles cracking from the other room holy shit

dumb lesbian: the four disasters mean business 

tiny tim: is that us??

dumb lesbian: ye

dumb lesbian: you’re the disaster pan race is the disaster gay jack is disaster bi and im disaster lesbian

father: haha yes

nyoom: true

mother: Jack, you should be taking your test...

father: you just told me to sleep

mother: That was two hours ago. It’s six am. The test is due at ten.

father: f uck

father: smalls crutchie race ily yall sibs don’t kill anyone

dumb lesbian: wait before u go

dumb lesbian changed father’s name to disaster bi

dumb lesbian changed nyoom’s name to disaster gay

dumb lesbian changed tiny tim’s name to disaster pan

dumb lesbian changed their name to disaster lesbian

disaster lesbian: okay now go not fail ly bro

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> as always tumblr is @zoe-with-two-dots4600


End file.
